Struggling within

This goes back to 1999: I had just started in a new relationship with my current girlfriend. She had 3 children 2 girls and a boy. since she was single when i met her,one of her daughters was used to sleeping with her from time to time.About 6 months had passed and things were going very well. We decided to go on a camping trip and the kids were excited. There were seperate tents for the kids ( together ) and us. Well, the first night came and it was time to turn in. One of the daughters who was 9 at the time was frightened because she had never been camping before. She ended up in our tent that night,but the only room for her to sleep was on my side of the tent. It was getting late and everyone was asleep ( i could tell by the snoring ) except for the 9 year old daughter and me. I reached over to run my fingers through her long brown hair in an attempt to comfort her so she would fall asleep as so could I. As I was stroking her hair she put her hand on my inner thigh ( I was wearing loose fitting boxers ) and started to move her hand like I was rubbing her head. This was getting me excited and I tried to hide that fact. After a few minutes of this innocent comforting the girl slowly moved up my inner thigh and into THE ZONE and touched my erect member ( maybe by accident - maybe not ). Immediately my heart was pounding. I moved my hand slowly down towards her chest area testing to see if she would flinch or not. She didn't move away from me and I advanced further and was now rubbing her nipples as she continued to rub my area and slowly stroke me. I slid my hand down even further and touched her softly as she open up her thighs. This went on for a few more minutes and I was even more excited than before. Knowing I was ready to lose control I gently remover her hand from my area and released, messing up my boxers. We just laid there silently for a little bit listening to the crickets. Not long after that the girl was fast asleep. I quietly got up and grabbed soap from the supplies and went to the lake for a quick clean up. All the time I worried that she would tell her mom or other siblings. She has never uttered a word to this day. I sometimes wonder if she was awake during this or perhaps asleep and doing it subconciously. I guess i'll never know. Present time she is now 18 and adores me. I look at her sometimes and think back just to wonder how it would be to have her now. Time has changed us all and we are close. I will not let myself destroy this bond!

I am struggling within,does this make me a bad person?

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