Narcissist bitch

Carrie,

I can't believe I spent 11 years of my life with your snooty, holier-than-thou attitude. My lunatic mother loved you. Maybe that's why.

You have a terrible figure and an ever-expanding ass. You are monumentally homely. My friends all disliked you (but never told me, ughh!). You sucked in bed. You're a prude, a bigot, and just generally annoying. You always treated me as childish for liking things you don't, and for having dreams and plans for the future that didn't include climbing the social ladder, pushing our kids to become Olympians, or workplace asslicking for promotions.

I guess there are many people like you, so I probably should have posted this in the "I'm an idiot" section. Good riddance to you AND my parents, siblings and grandfather who abandoned me by choosing to listen to your lies. I will move on, love my children despite you poisoning them, and enjoy love and happiness, as well as my newfound sense of worth.

You never will because you can never hurt me enough to make you happy. That is your Achilles heel. You will be an old maid, living with your even uglier and more demented old maid sister(curiously, it's possible).

Our children will unfortunately someday figure out that you are evil, my estranged family are ALREADY learning that (too late, though; they can still bugger off!).

You don't have the capacity to feel remorse, but your vengeful comfort will always be empty, as will my parents'. I believe there is a special hell for you and my mother, and I hope that the idea of you all rotting there someday stops making me smile, because I despise that solitary, little speck in my soul that is like you. Revenge isn't a dish best served cold; it's a cold dish you perpetually eat from! Enjoy your miserable life of "victory" over me, Carrie. I'm enjoying my new one without you.

Everything you took away I can live without; I left with the only things you needed- your precious trophy husband and your suburban, yuppie lifestyle. BTW, you can have the lifestyle back-it's in mothballs in my basement. Oh wait, you can't use it without me, because the desperate housewives who so rabidly supported you for the last three years don't want you around without your cute husband. If you only knew how unfaithful I COULD have been! (hint: It pales in comparison to your accusations. Those weekday plumbing and fusebox "problems" were curiously timed with there need to change or shower with the door cracked open, in case I needed to speak to them of course. Talk about regret...)

Oh, as for my friend Gene, I hope you sought comfort in his hairy little bosom. His Napoleonic mentality and self-professed microphallus compliments you beautifully. It also removed more of the accumulated garbage from my life.

Here's to your future, I hope it's verylong and that you continue to enjoy everything you've sown! Me? I'm plowing a new field of exquisite beauty and bounty, dreaming of Montana and flyfishing every day, loving my children, and finally loving myself!

MMMuahh! Thanks for the do-over!

Cheers,
Mike

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