Lost

We let go of each other finally. I was trying to hold on and he always seemed to want to be set free. Yet if I asked that he'd get angry. Mixed signals, warnings, fears.

I have nothing but my children to care for now. I feel so hollow, empty, cold. There is nothing to look forward to, nothing to look for at all.

I'm a bit scared I'll just become a soft alcoholic and quietly dream my life away. But would it be so bad? I'm not made to be just jump from one person to another. I don't feel things so loosely. It's so deep inside me, this love for him. Years now I've wanted him in my life. It would take years just to learn to let go a little.

So I'm not letting go. I'm just gonna fade away. Won't be so bad. My memories will keep me company. My treasures.

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