Confessions and Erotic Stories » Confessions, Rape » I think I liked it
I think I liked it
The past school year I had this one class with my favourite teacher in the school, he was funny and nice and not bad looking either. So I was happy when he offered extra help around exam time, since he was the easiest to talk to and didn't make me feel like an idiot. I stayed after school a few days in a row, there were other teachers and kids there but I felt almost like we were two friends studying together just because of his demeanour and everything. On friday of that week he asked if we could go back to his house for tutoring since the library shut down early. I said sure, after all he was my teacher, I trusted him and what else could I have said to that, plus we only lived about four blocks apart.
When we got there, we went into the living room and I sat down on the couch, then bent down to get my notebook out of my bag. I sort of thought I heard him undoing his belt but didn't really think much of it for whatever reason. Then immediately he grabbed my shoulders and pushed me onto my knees. I struggled and asked what the fuck he was doing, he didn't say anything but he forced his penis into my mouth. One of his hands was on the back of my neck and I started crying as he guided me back and forth.
I guess he wasn't satisfied with that because he got me onto my stomach on the couch and pulled my shorts off, then raped me anally. I only struggled a little by then, so he pulled my hair and called me a slut and pounded into me harder. He was rough and I was in a lot of pain, but he kept going until he came.
Then he told me I could leave after I showered off the evidence, so we went into the bedroom and he took off both our clothes. I saw that he was stroking himself, then he got hard and hit me so that I would lay down on the bed like he said. I was crying again, and I started screaming at him and asking him not to do it. I had never even been in a real relationship before and I was still a virgin. But he ignored me and raped me vaginally this time, and he made me orgasm. I was humiliated by the thought that he had brought me to orgasm, and I hoped he didn't notice, but then he started taunting me about it.
Finally he got me into the shower, and came in behind me. By then I felt numb and I had stopped fighting him. He turned on the water and continued to rape me from the front and back until he could no longer get an erection. Then he started fingering me clean, as hard as he could, and it hurt. He continued to touch and fondle me as we got dressed, and said that if anyone ever found out he would come after me.
I walked home from his house. No one was there and no one suspected anything. I never mentioned it to anyone but I still think about how it felt and once in a while I think that I would like to do it with him again. I am ashamed to even think this way and I did try to fight him off, it was definitely not consensual at the time but I also really enjoyed being made to submit. I know that if he ever approached me again I would not resist.
I think this makes me a horrible person becuase I am terrified of it happening again but it turns me on at the same time. I am so confused by this and I feel dirty but of course there is no one I could tell.
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Filed under: Confessions, Rape
Hi, I understand what it was like for you. I had a similar thing happen to me. It was my aunt that did it, though. I’ll give you details if you want them. Also.If you need a friend, need someone to talk to, or for any other reason, feel free to send me an email. I promise I will not tell anyone anything at all. My email is: berryreddish@gmail.com
Contact me any time you want.
I’m really sorry to hear that this happened to you. You were raped and that was not your fault. It DOES NOT make you a horrible person for being aroused because sex is a natural human instinct and desire. You shouldn’t be ashamed because you had an orgasm and I understand how you might feel dirty and confused. The reason why it turns you on is because humans are sexual beings and some women enjoy being dominated in bed, which is natural and very common. But what’s important is THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT… you were raped and that is a crime. I hope you’ll be able to share this with someone you trust soon.
I am sry for what life has done with you.Your teacher wil be punished for wt he has done . But don’t continue it. Its after all a sin. Til today you are virgin. I my view virginty doesn’t means hymen or anything but it means enjoying sex with your intension. I pray to god that he might give you the strength to control your selves.If you fel to alone or just want to have chat mail me at ramisjames@gmail.com.
Young lady, do you know what the word cooercion means? You were made into doing what he wanted and you starting to think that kind of disrespect turns you on is part of his whole plan! I’m a survivor myself, so I hope you can hear my advice. I never sugarcoat anything and I don’t know how. He made sure he made you orgasm to make you mentally think it must not have been that aweful! WRONG!!! Your body hun will do what God made it for regardless of consent. You said NO!!! NO means NO!! It never means maybe, and he made sure you came to make you feel ashamed and to justify it isn’t rape if your body responds to being stimulated! Rape is nonconsensual sex and he is a pedophile! You are not the first girl he has done this too, I’m nearly certain! You are mentally justifying your loss of control by saying you liked losing your control. This is called DENIAL. Seriously, you need to tell your mom or even your school principal. If no one there listens then look up CASA Child Advocacy. They can get in contact with law enforcement. He should be in jail! Not where he can keep doing this to innocent children. I know you think you are grown up because you know what sex is now. That does not make you responsible for the inner turmoil you feel. If you don’t report him you can end up an alcoholic later, on drugs, or worse! You may even get to where you want to take your own life, and I pray you don’t do this! Please, Please tell someone, that is just simply Horrible!
I would almost say this is BS because its such a well put together story. but on the chance that its not i would say this is called the start of a fetish in my opinion, if you like it you like it. part of the attraction is because you feel dirty, but at the moment so is the guilt. Its not your fault that this happened. If you want to pursue it then do so but gain control from him, make it your terms. his threat is just words to keep you quite. grow some balls and approach him at school, he can’t do anything then. watch how he sweats and how that intimidation he used just evaporates. show confidence if you want it from him again and be blunt with what is and isn’t going to happen and what those consequences will be if he doesn’t comply to your demands. the point here is that you are not helpless or at fault and you ARE ABLE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. be sure to protect yourself as a side note. ultimately do what you feel you need to do. talk to someone about it, turn him in, or engage him. you are not a horrible person because you are having these feelings, you are human and we all have some sort of habit or fetish of some sort.