hurt .. and then ignored ..

I used all 6 years in a school falling in love with a guy which never noticed me .. till the valentines day ... at that time my friends told me another guy likes me and my pathetic way is that once someone tells me they like me i like them back .. but after i deny being with them .. but i didnt deny exactly on the valentines day those guys came up to me and instead of me piking the one i sat 6 years to love him.. (lets call him john) i went with the other one (jake) .. the worst mistake of my life!! i was in grade 5 when this happened and the mistake was me falling so in love with him so much...i thought he did the same i went to his b-day at another guys house and we swam together whenever someone was piking on me or doing something bad to me he was always there to stand up for me even when i had detention he stayed in it with me but then one thing changed everything .. the summer holiday ... he went on holiday to jordan and i sat in romania .. at the end of the summer he sended me "if ur in town call me i love u and i miss u so much " and i sended him that i miss him too and i lovee him really much but then a girl came .. that fell in love with him and when i tryed to walk away the girl (ana) came closer to him .. finally the break up came .. he sended me a note that said "if im not talking to her why isnt she talking to me " and i said that "if ur not talking to me why shud i talk to you?" then he said "break up?" and i said "if thats what you want" and then he said yes .. at that time i didnt want to break up with him .. and all the class found out before it was officially a break up!! we where the most famous couple in school every1 was talking about it weeks after , that made me feel worse .. :// i missed him i felt terrible but i tryed to hide it .. not after one day after the break up he went with ana!! and then people started telling me stuff about them trying to make me jelous nd i think it worked but i never admitted it ..:|
one day another guy came and jake (the guy i broke up with) was helping daniel (lets call him daniel) be with me .. but i hated him!!! i told him that and then he started talking to me .. i tryed to ignore it .. but the happy thing was he went from school .. now im in grade 7 and im in love with a guy every girl in probably in love with .. but im not admitting it .. and 3 girls in my class had a fight .. i always wanted them to have a fight but now its weird cuz im forced to chose between 1 girl and the 2 others and i just cant .. !! i think most ppl are in my situation .. now .. the guy i like is in ana's gang and i hate it!! he only sees me as the gum girl he never said more to me than "hey can i have gum?" well he said hey bye and thoz random stuff but anyways .. he is too short for me probably that's why i'm not gonna admit i love him ..his best friend is my best guy friend he tells me everything we re great friends but he wanted us to be more so i just said i didn't want to go out with him and no big deal .. and now the guy i broke up with bcuz of ana is trying to get on my side he is standing up for me again and things arent going as bad as they went the previous years .. i kinda like it .. but the girl ana gets more annoying as time passes and i dont think i can stand it anymore i just wish i can go up to her and slap her in her face.
Every1 sees me as the shy person and im trying to prove its not true but it kind of is :// i laugh funny and everyone is piking on me but i don't really care because after that they say sorry .. i just like how things turned out .. now im friends with 3 girls and we kind of break the rules without anyone knowing .. we sneak at the stage and sing .. or dance or whatever we are in the mood to do .. its really great fun but i really do need help now because nobody in my class has had a boyfriend and nobody knows how it hurts and if i try to tell someone they'd make fun of it cause most of the people are not so mature .. write a comment if u had ever went through this and if u can tell me how to get over it ..
P.S. i just wanted to wrote a quote :
AND WHEN I TRY TO WALK AWAY YOU'D HURT YOURSELF TO MAKE ME STAY ;)

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