He befuddle me and screws with my head.

He befuddles me, screws with my head. I am a person of rationality and logic and around him, it goes all out the window. I've never had that happen before. It fascinates me and scares me at the same time because I don't know how to BE if I'm not logical and rational all the time. Here I am multitasking in my brain, thinking 50,000 things at once at every minute of the day but around him- just the very thought of him- it all stops. I'm totally in the moment. And I hardly know him.

Nothing will come of this. It wouldn't be.... logical, it's too irrational and I'm really trying to change things in my life, put it on the right track. Besides- what do I REALLY know about him? He could be absolutely grating for all I know. It's just some stupid ideal in my head. A fantasy. The real thing and fantasy/expectation never match. I know this.

And still just the thought of him enraptures me too much to care. This can't be healthy. I don't know what this is but it's...wonderful and horrible at the same time.

Related posts:

1. Every single day and night Suicide pops up in my head