My first time

I’m 18 and last night I lost my virginity to my 27 year old crush. I’d never gone out with him before, but I ended up the last person at his house after a get together with friends. I would never have normally done this, but I didn’t mind losing my virginity to him. I didn’t have the courage to tell him it was my first time (because I’m an idiot) and now I’m scared he’ll think of me as someone who would jump into anyone’s bed, and we had always gotten on so well. I wouldn’t have had sex with him if I hadn’t liked him for so long.

I am slightly ashamed of myself for being worried about if I was good in bed or not. I know relationships shouldn’t be based on sex, but I’m still worried. We acted as we’ve always done for the rest of the night. I’m pretty sure he just viewed it as a one night stand.

He said that we couldn’t ever tell anyone, and though he treated me well, he never kissed me at any point. I have lost my virginity to a man I’d like to have a chance with, but I haven’t even been kissed. I feel pathetic.

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