In love with my straight best friend..

I’m in love with my straight best friend. I came out to him last year, and on top of that told him that I’ve been in love with him for 4 years. I can’t get over him, and it causes me so much pain, and guilt. I feel horrible when I see him with someone else. Having these feelings has caused me to destroy relationships with really good guys. I just can’t get over him.. Even though it still hurts, I think I am starting to get over him, because the longing to hurt myself has stopped. I’ve been talking to a counselor for the past 2 months. She believes I need to get away from him for a while. That is impossible when I need him in my life. We are planning on rooming together when we start college. What’s wrong with me? =[

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