left behind

im so scared. hes got a new job and moving 6 hours away, what if he forgets he wants me. he wants to wait before we can get married so he can get settled into his job. but if im not around while hes building a new career/life what if he just..falls out of love?
what if he finds someone better? someone whos actaully on the same intellectual level as him and has a job too. wouldnt be too hard to cheat since hes so far away. id never know. Then decided a few years down the line he doesnt want to marry me anymore. wer coming up to two years together now.
i cant stand to watch a tiny flickering light at the end of such a long tunnel for years..just for it to go out. it would hurt so much, and while hel have a life and something left. ill have nothing.
absolutely nothing. the only reason i havnt stepped off the kerb in front of a lorry is the thought of him. he doesnt know. he wont ever know.

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