Loneliness is my partner.

There are certain days when I get by really well and look back and realize that all I did was to be really busy. I need to be busy to not allow my mind to wander. I’m in my 20′s and never had partner. People tell me to wait, be patient, look for Jesus in my life, even stop looking and reside on my ‘gift of singleness’. I’m tired of that, it crushes me, it makes me cry when I see couples on the street, when I look in my rear-view mirror and see a couple in the car behind me, all my relative age. There’s always a chair open next to me. I have friends, who comfort and are there for me. They are only friends and no potential there… My past week was chaos, it’s was holiday – sometimes I feel like keeping my breath in and to just stop breathing altogether – it doesn’t work. I really really really really want someone to be with, to care for and to mean something to a girl. It’s killing me slowly. I have tried and not tried, prayed and wished, hoped… I can’t seem to find a girl interested in a guy like me – I have no physical defects, no illnesses, I’m athletic and motivated. What is wrong with me, what is wrong with me, what is happening to me??????

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